***Disclaimer... this post is not a pity party or a "feel bad for me" post.
This post is purely to get some thoughts out of my mind.***
Tonight I am going THERE... I am discussing dating! Dating and I have a love/hate relationship... I have been on some really fun dates with some really great people, but I have also had the crazy dates! I have been able to broaden my dating experience recently and have really enjoyed it, but man... being almost 27 and single in Utah is not always to my advantage! Haha!!! Dating and weight loss are two very odd combinations for a discussion right? Yes they are... and I am combining them tonight... so enjoy!
I have mentioned before that I am not losing weight to become more dateable. I am losing weight to become a healthier me... I want to experience all that I can in life without my weight holding me back. I will be honest though... I have gained a lot of confidence over the last year and am quite proud of who I am becoming and how I am looking. Heck! I am achieving so much!!!
I have had multiple discussions lately with both male and female friends about dating and what others are looking for in a companion and a topic is quite common. I have even fell to trying a new online dating website and noticed the same topic in some of the guys profiles. This topic is the desire to date someone who is as physically active and health conscience as you are. Now I agree... my health has become so important to me and I need to be with someone who wants to come do active things with me and eat healthier. I would struggle with someone who doesn't want to eat the same meal as me or someone who would not be willing to go to the gym with me every once and a while. So I understand what people are saying when they state their desire for a fit person.
The struggle I am currently having is knowing who I am on the inside versus the appearance on the outside. It may seem trivial, but the struggle is real! Some of the guys I really am more attracted to and would like to pursue... with my lack of flirting and dating game ;) HAHA... are guys that state this exact thing, they want an active, healthy girl. I immediately put myself in the friend category and think to myself, "you do not look like an active, healthy girl; therefore, they are not going to be interested in you." Even though I am that girl, I just have a few more layers to shed before you can actually see her! I am an active person and I love being healthy! I can run over 3 miles straight, I eat a lot healthier than I ever have, I go to the gym 5 days a week, I am even healthier than some of the thinner people I know. I just know that because I don't "look" as thin and healthy as others, that I am tagged as an unhealthy person. So, my question to you all... how do I look past this and realize that I am capable of what I want? How do I get a guy to realize that I am healthy and active even though I don't look like it at the moment?
Did I word vomit enough? I just needed to get that off my chest... Thanks for reading and letting me do that!
P.S. I am participating in Lent this year and have chosen to give up sweets. I am a week in and doing great! I love being able to try something new, especially culturally! I am also hoping to curb my sweet tooth and enjoy the natural sweet things more in the long run! I am also getting really close to my next goal and will post when I hit it!
Till next time!
