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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Who do I depend on?

I have been pondering lately on why I have chosen to take this path again. I do not question why I am doing this, that has been made very clear to me and I am beyond ready to make the changes that are necessary for me to live a long, healthy life. The question I tend to ponder... Why I am I taking this path alone this time? Last time I joined WW, it was on the spur of the moment, I don't even think I knew I was going to do it the night before. My mom, sister and grandma were joining and I just thought I would give WW a try. Funny thing was, I was the one who ended up staying the longest out of us four. I loved going with them, but I also loved going on my own. I really learned that I can be just as much of a support and pusher on myself than that of others. I am truly my biggest critic, but I am also my biggest supporter. If anyone knows what I am truly capable, it is me!
 
Well here I am, attending meetings by myself again. I am truly finding my power of control again. Has this been an easy transition for me? NO WAY!!! I am having more struggles this time and I am truly finding it hard to readjust to this lifestyle, but I also am remembering that I will not wake up changed because I want to. I will have to work hard and it will take time, but it will come. One of the reasons I chose WW was the basis that you are not dieting, but making a lifestyle change. I have really tried to make this clear to others... I am not limited on what foods I can eat, everything is an option, but I may choose to pass up one indulgence so that I may indulge in something I would enjoy more. Let me say it one more time... I am not on a diet!!!

I am learning quickly how much I have to depend on myself. I am the only one who can make the changes in my life. You cannot tell me to go and exercise after work or to not eat that extra slice of pizza that night. It simply does not work that way. As I mentioned earlier, I am learning more about finding my power of control lately, just in myself. I am the only one who can truly tell myself that walking around the block instead of a nap is a better choice. I am the only one that can say that I need to pass on the candy bowl at work and that the candy is SO not worth the points.

I know this journey is truly one that I will take on my own, with the support of others behind me. I know that I am truly the only one in control of myself and my choices. I am going to do this and I am going to become a healthier person because of it.

In other news... I reached my first weight loss goal today! I have officially lost over 10 lbs as of today! (I can't reveal my real number yet... I am in a biggest loser competition and don't want my competitors to feel bad ;)) I was very excited to see that number hit, especially since I have felt like crap this week.

Til next time!!!

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